"I just realized I won 30 million dollars

"I just realized I won 30 million dollars at the lottery, so please forget my previous rant against inflation. What a beautiful country we live in! I will get 3 butlers, 5 cars,

20 cups of green tea, and most importantly, 500 battle-ready emperor penguins. Finally, it is my time to take over the world, and lay claim to

the slice of banoffee pie that was so ruthlessly taken from me all those years ago. "Attack!" I cried & my battle-ready emperor penguins advanced with a "SQUARK!", which incidentl

-y is a very rude word in Penguinese. The emperor penguins stormed into the Automat and bought me another piece of banoffee pie, but charged my account for it, the brutes. I ate it

not knowing how much a ding it had put in my bank account. Later that day, when I had to pay for our tickets for the Whirl-a-Whirl, I was short the price of the pie. The penguins

then offered their help and suggested a heist. The idea of an ocean's eleven-esque heist with penguins seemed ridiculous until I remembered the number in my bank account. Night has

fallen, and I dial Havelka-6174. Penguins arrive on SHEDULE (I'm Britifh), but the Golden Girls had set the casino on fire already! We were too late. "Quack," said Montgomery.

"HOW HIGH SIR," a young penguin behind him asked. Montgomery turned to look at the youngling. "I said "Quack" cadet. But I like the enthusiasm." Word came that two infiltrators had

depleted them of their salmon. "We must get them!" quacked Montgomery. "You have no men. The infiltrators took them all" the young penguin said. Montgomery lost his mind and

channeled his dormant magic. He crafted a tidal wave from the Arctic sea and sent those penguins flying. Alas, he was going to make it home.