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Har ni någon gång googlat på ordet döskallesjal?

  • Har ni någon gång googlat på ordet döskallesjal?

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  • I said at my Swedish Knitter's club. The ladies stared at the black lace-weight angora sweater. The skull motif stared back. "Jag tror att jag stickar skallarna för hårt."

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  • These are the horrors and night evils that takeover the IKEA store after hours.

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  • And yes, they seem innocuous a first, minor disturbances in the realm of Scandinavian practical design. But the effect is insidious, often requiring weeks for daily IKEA shoppers

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  • to find the exit of the store. I reclined on a FLBRTSNGN sofa & noticed a skeleton stuffed behind it. That's the price you pay for coming unprepared to Ikea. I had brought supplies

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  • For sabotaging the revolution underneath that said sofa. Plyocene bankers were sitting on its onyx cushions. The IKEA salesperson showed me the velvet black sofa as I had imagined.

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  • I took home my new IKEA black velvet sofa and put it in the corner of my Spartan office. It fit in nicely between the door and the wall with just enough room for a desk & cameras.

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  • It hit me suddenly. The realization of what I was actually about to do here in this space...with the cameras & all. My Grandma Libby's face materialized in my brain. "Don't do it!

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  • " she warned, "That's what killed your Grandpa!" "Shut up, you rotten old Granny hallucination," I told it, "I'll do what I want!" So I went ahead and ate the cat-food salad sandwi

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  • ch and proceeded to immediately throw up the meal of cat-food salad sandwich and burnt pickle ends that I had prepared for myself in the midst of my drunken haze. It was bad.

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3 Comments

  1. Woab Apr 19 2019 @ 16:12

    The moral of this story is: if you go into IKEA, bring supplies in case you get lost, make sure that they are actually palatable, and don't go intoxicated. You may wind up with the sort of sofa that murdered your Grandpa. Okay?

  2. SlimWhitman Apr 22 2019 @ 12:27

    Don't forgot the meatballs under the FLBRTSNGN sofa! Props to LL for mentioning that piece of classic Scandinavian design ;-)

  3. PurpleProf Apr 23 2019 @ 19:46

    Hey ASimpleSteph! You're off to a good start here in FS! Welcome to the club.

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