Once upon a time there was an man who lived

Once upon a time there was an man who lived high up on a mountain that overlooked a village. Every so often villagers who would travel up the mountain, but would never return.

There was a rumor that once you got to the top of the mountain, you would find a huge man monster would rip you in half, eat your insides and throw the bones down the mountain.

So of course I wanted to venture to the tippity-top. But first, I would need to gather materials. Food, blankets, clothes- but wait? Where was my trusty, always-dependable,

ear-glasses. I didn't want my ears to get hurt, especially in the great outdoors. They were so sensitive that tapping glass sounded like a fight between chainsaws. Finding them

was easy before, but somehow all stores didn't have it in stock that day. "What's happening? I need to get an ear-glasses! Or my eardrums can't hold on anymore!" I was frantically

searching for it. Finally I gave up and purchase so happy hooker heels and plastic bag dress instead. I would wear these to the ball. It would solve all my problems to marry the

Prince of the House of Blues. The heels were poorly attached so they flew south and I wore my Nike's. Blimey! The toes wept all night so I couldn't sleep. The Prince played his

Pauper but it was long past stale. The incessant weeping of the toes led me to contemplate, for the 1st time, the duties we owed, ethically, to each other. In the House of Blues we

had no shoes. So I dried the tears of the little naked toes and I swaddled them in finest woolen socks and expensive Italian shoes. After a while I heard them snoring in there.

Not wishing to lose out because of my kindness, I waited until I was sure they wouldn't wake up. I crept into their room and stole back the Italian shoes and shut the door gently.