I've always wondered why they called them Buffalo Wings. I was pretty sure buffaloes didn't have wings, and if they did, they were pretty damn useless. Kinda like a T-Rex's arms. I was talking about this to a few friends when I first decided to embark on a quest which would change my life - a quest to find the legendary buffalo and take its wings for fun. If you hold on tightly to a pair of buffalo wings and flap your arms up and down really fast, you can FLY. I put on my Superman outfit just in case, and jumped off the diving board while the flapping buffalo wings and flew to the bottom of an empty pool and fractured my skull. I activated my "I've fallen down & can't get up" bracelet but because I was underwater it electrocuted my neck. "Ow" I thought as I saw someone jump into rescue me. The man swam to wear I was, grabbed my hand and stole my watch. He then swam down and took my socks off, 'Dash it all' I thought, my mother-in-Law's Christmas present too? What's he going to go for next, surely not my ... oh dear, too late. He took that off! Needless to say, the sordid details of what followed is too raw for innocent eyes. But when it was all over, I posted it all on facebook, and no one liked it or commented on it. It just sat there moving slowing down the page as others posted their lame goings on about their kids and what's they ate for dinner. Didn't anyone care about my life? Someone's stupid update about their dog having puppies had 64 likes and 43 comments in two hours. What was I? Chopped liver? Come on, at least one person must have seen my cry for help. Just one? I close my eyes and lean back against the cool glass, contemplating the ultimate futility of life, love, and social media.

 

Comments

1 sundancer's photo

So funny!!!

2 JonH2O's photo

This is awesome.

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