On my planet, tertiary males are not considered

On my planet, tertiary males are not considered weaned until their twentieth year out of the womb. Gestation is another 27 months. So my 19 year old toddler needs me to wipe his fa

ther's blood from his cheek. I didn't bother, because I quickly killed him too. I stood alone between the corpses of my husband and my child, then heaved a deep sigh of relief.

I was finally free. They wouldn't tie me down any longer. Nevermore would my husband demand anything of me, nevermore would my child's whining voice pierce my ears. It was over.

I was a woman without a family, without constant demands, without responsibilities. It was freedom. I decided to shed all constrains and let my hair go witchy-wild. I lurked in the

thresholds of vampire's houses; tombs usually. Every time a saw one I had to follow it to find out where it slept. Then I would just lurk. My witchy-wild hair kept me safe them but

otherwise I wasn't hairy enough except between my breasts. Luckily, Big Pharma had turned toward genemods as a cash engine, and my full-body thicket deterred the vampires, until

one night when, unbeknownst to me in my drunken stupor, my now&then lover shaved me hairless from head to toe. Suddenly, I was vampire-vulnerable again! YIKES! I slathered my body

in coconut oil. I was slick and tried not to slip on my wooden bedroom floor. I waddled my way to the bed and sat down, grunting. How embarrassing.

Slathered with coconut oil & the floor being covered in sesame seeds I was now coated in them. I felt & looked like a giant yakitori. This is when the Japanese room service entered

into the suite with horror written all over their faces. For sure they have never stumbled upon a mess like this! But everyone remained silent and began to erase the evidence.