Five years ago, Chloe was badly hurt by her

Five years ago, Chloe was badly hurt by her almost two-year boyfriend, Dave. He broke up with her because she became so clingy, demanding and possessive. The worst part was, he did

The Times cryptic crossword with her at breakfast & now she had to do it on her own. Was it too demanding asking Dave for anagrams before 8am? Chloe examined her behaviour & decide

-d she hadn't been demanding enough of Dave lately. She made a mental note to start waking him around 6 or 7 with pointless calls. So she called him. "I need crossword puzzle help

. What's a four-letter word for 'lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch husband'? Oh wait! I've got it: D-A-V-E." Naturally Dave hung up on her. Naturally she called him back. "Hello? Is

this the curmudgeonly talk show host who invites young female guests to try out some stupidest human tricks in his back office?" Dave hung up again."For crying out loud screen my

calls willya?" Silence. Dave poked his head out of his office. His assistant was gone. On her desk was a Cinnabon box with "EAT ME" scrawled on the top. "Huh" he thought, and ope

, which is what the called Opie, Old Ope rolled his eyes. His teacher was pretending to eat the Cinnabon daintily, which was a joke because she wads 434 pounds. Ope decided

To eat vegetarian instead, it was all too disgusting. Opie had a monkey who was a natural vegetarian and helped chop up vegetables. Bucky the chimp was a good cook and knew how t

o make a wide variety of meals. Bucky the chimp was all too happy to make this food and one day dreamed of entering a cooking show.

This dream was cut short, however, when Bucky was asked to make Chimp Stew and had to use himself as the main ingredient. He was digested before the contract went through.