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"I will always add to a fold which has mustard

  • "I will always add to a fold which has mustard in it." she said. We shook our heads. What world was she living in? Her rapid mental degradation had shocked our family to the core.

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  • Sure, we were the Coleman Family of Coleman's Mustard fame in Great Britain, but Emily (our youngest, tsk tsk) was literally crazy about mustard. She put it on EVERYTHING! Emily

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  • hadn't even heard of Norwich, never mind Delia Smith, but she didn't let that hold her back in her appreciation of the spicy condiment. At least, not until the representative from

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  • Manitoba gave her a sample of their finest local condiment. It was the most intoxicating thing she had ever tried, and she was nearly delirious as she asked for another taste.

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  • "Well, I think we've exhausted our sweets and saltys," she said as she busied her hands inside the sample bag. "Here is one, from our bitters collection," and she put a drop on her

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  • tongue. Her mouth wrinkled and wrinkled. When she spoke, her voice sounded cold and angry. I realized that the bitter candy had done something to her. Something never before seen.

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  • The candy was called "Spring Surprise". And indeed, when you bit into it, little frogs popped out and jumped onto the table. I looked at the label, which read www.glasshouse.com.

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  • Mother always said that candy wasn't good for me, and I suppose this time, she was right. So I threw the box out the window, where it hit a passing train. I heard the brakes squeal

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  • like a female giving birth. Remorse gripped me so I squealed a little bit to purge the guilt that came with likening women to pigs. "Now I'm a pig too" I thought. The sugar rush

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  • Kush I just shoved into the brownies had taken full effect, and it wasn’t sweet. Tons of naked senior citizens jumping into fountains, and all I want to do is pass the audition.

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