I didn't want to leave, but I also didn't want to die. My choice was clear. Also the Dark Side promised cookies. You know I love cookies. I crossed over to the Dark Side. It was pitch black there. "Yo! Turn on the light. If I have to pee like this you are so gonna be sorry!" Lights on. A voice:"You belong to us now". I peeked warily out of my stall. There, by the door, the bathroom attendant, all in black, was waving a torch and cackling with menace. I threw a tenner at her and hightailed it outta there, not even taking time to flush.I tried to stop the lady & her toddler from entering the Restroom Straight Out of Hell,but the kid kept pulling on her. "Peepee! Peepee!" The hairs on the back of knees started to rise as I grew more frantic to save the lady and her toddler from the hellish restroom. I threw myself across the intervening space & knoc ked the door of the restroom over. Demons from within crept toward me, but I quickly ran over to the lady and her toddler so that I could shield them with my magical sprinkley powder. "Get away from my baby" shrieked the lady as I tried to sprinkle them. "You don't understand-" Then the demons of the restroom dragged her & her toddler down into A black hole that suddenly appeared on the floor then it vanished. Then the demons of the restroom vanished without trace. They were never seen or heard from again. The Starbucks Party claimed it was their doing, that the Starbucks Party saved the world, so they won the election in a landslide. The world may be spared of demons, but not caffeinated tyranny . The party gained a following equally popular to both the Nazis before WWII and “I Love Lucy” reruns. The map was not just red and blue states anymore. There were brown states.



1 PurpleProf's photo

Brown states indeed…those Restroom Demons. What other color would they be, after all?

2 TarotGuy's photo

PurpleProf: Never even considered that! I was thinking coffee-brown, not poopie-brown. Wonderful homage to the beginning of the story!

3 PurpleProf's photo

The Brown States from the Dark Side, TarotGuy!

4 Gibber's photo

Where the sun don’t shine.

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