The highest of honours have endowed me today. A writer named Ambika, of whom had higher stature than me, decided to follow my path in the Quest of the FoldingStory. My joy was nonexistent as I had always loathed Ambika. No real reason, just that I was runner up to her in the Charro-lookalike contest seventeen years ago when I should have been crowned. Jealous of Ambika I determined anything she could fold I could fold better. Only in reality I couldn't. I folded laundry. They came out lumps. I folded batter. It came out lumps. I folded my brow. It came out knitted. I folded mountains. They came out valleys. I folded my arms. They came out pompous. I folded sheep. They said "flock you". I just folded. That is, until that one unfortunate winter when I slipped on ice and hit my head. When I woke up, I realized I had forgotten how to fold! My one passion, gone! What was I to do?! I stared at the words before my eyes as the timer ticked towards zero. The numbers turned red. They seemed to speed up. With 0:05 to go, I panicked and closed the page. Just as the page closed I saw all my typos and grammatical mistakes. What had I done? Would the others think less of me? I hung my head in shame as the fold posted. I was doomed. A sob caught in my throat. I considered the vastness of the void. It was as if I sent words into an endless starving sentient cave, naïve of the ripple caused. Heaving sigh. No. The experience left me raw; an open wound just begging for some passing vampiric entity from another dimension to come along and partake. Many partook until I was just a shell with a small bag of dried cheese product that you were supposed to add hot water to in order to make a cheese sauce. You just had to make it about your shit vampiric entity, didn't you?

 

Comments

1 shadowsheart's photo

They do say that breaking up is hard to do.

2 SlimWhitman's photo

Often they sing it too.
Cheesy, if you ask me.

3 Woab's photo

Didn’t Charro do the Macaroni?

4 shadowsheart's photo

She did but she coochie coochie coo’d them a bit too much and we’re now callling it arroz de concha.

5 shadowsheart's photo

It pairs quite well with a Bud Light Orange Peel inside a trashbin.

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