This guide can be used alone as a beginner's handbook. To begin capitalist mediation you must first find a quiet place where you can block out any socialized media, progressive press, and liberal monkeyism. Then carefully remove your ten dollar bill from bookmarking page 10 of the Capitalist Guide to Meditation and read That after 1985, there was money to be made from the business of spirituality. Of course, it was fake, but few cared. The kool aid tasted too wonderful. Tim Leary was thrilled. Tim Leary sold his house in Millbrook and moved to Mexico for legal reasons. His house was always abundantly supplied with peyote and other local psychotropic substances. Space mig -ht have been a problem, were it not for the frequent trans-dimensional portals he used to keep his abundant stash away from view of the authorities. They could smell it, but they could not find it no matter how many hundreds of man hours they spent looking for it. Eventually they gave up, it was impossible to find the stash between dimensions after all... Exhausted,they decided it had to be five o'clock somewhere & headed over to La Historia Cantina for happy hour. It was always happy hour at the cantina because it was always 5 p.m. Big Al, the bartender, fixed them up with some Irish Coffees, which immediately began to quarrel with one another, resulting in the tossing of a molotov cocktail. They covered themselves in whipped cream and shaved chocolate and were swiftly offered to the bar gods. Top o' the morning to ya, said a green-tinted summer ale. The bartender pulled a pot of day old soup from behind the bar and slammed it down. Displeased bar gods and the bar's patrons grabbed torches and pitchforks. The bartender realized his mistake too late. The End

 

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