My theatrical adaptation of McCarthy's "The

My theatrical adaptation of McCarthy's "The Road" -- loyal to the novel except for the substitution of the father and boy with Batman and Robin -- was a complete and utter

travesty. Act 1, Scene 1 [Batman coughs up blood] R: Holy lung complaints, Batman! B: Get in the cartmobile, Robin, we're goin' to the sea. I'll push. [Exit stage left] Scene 2

{Joker walks in stage right.] Are we but players who strut across life? (aside) Me thinks yon bat brain and boy blunder are out to sea. Verily, I must make mischief. Scene 3

[Robin]: I prithee speak to me as thou dost ruminate. [Batman]: Verily thou art a clodpole! Know you not...[Joker descends from rafters] [Batman]: Fie! Accursed Villan! Scene 4

. Outskirts of Gotham. Flightless Fowl Seafood Warehouse. Batman & Robin bound to chairs back-to-back. [Robin] Our hope is loss and sad despair! [Batman] Fear thee not, Boy Wonder

-- I anticipated this and have a pair of Mothra singers up my Bat-nostrils. [Penguin] Snuff is such a strong word. Have some pepper! Batman's sneeze toppled the roped chairs. Robin

Leach said, "By Jove Batman, your are sooooooooooo rich, look at this Bat Super Yacht!" Batman rethought about his choice for his side kick, Robin. This was Robin Leach and

there was no end to his blood-lust. It was cute at first but after several more hours, Robin Leach still wouldn't stop bugging him. Batman fled the yacht for the bat-cave.

Surely, Robin wouldn't be able to find him there. But when batman entered the bat cave, Robin was lying in front of the fireplace, dressed in tight lingerie. "Hey Bats." Robin said

as he got up and made tea. "It is raining cats and dogs outside." Batman was able to fly so he didn't need an umbrella. "There were broken umbrellas flying everywhere."