Stale milk dripped from the walls and the

Stale milk dripped from the walls and the ceiling smelled as if it were made from dung. One day, after the triple-eared guard gave me my food, I finalised my escape plans.

"I'm free of the cereal factory!" I said to the mutant elf. "We must rescue Crackle and Pop, if we are to stop this apocolypse!" Strange days indeed, my mama sez.

But when Snap and I got there, it was too late. Crackle and Pop were floating, bloated in a bowl of milk. "I will avenge my mutant elfin brothers!" Snap yelled as he shook his fist

at the sky. I helped him haul his brothers' bloated bodies from the pool of milk and we buried them in a box of cereal. "Crackle, Pop..." Tears streamed down Snap's elfin face.

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum, bring out the coffin, let Snap'smourners come

." I had been mumbling these words all morning. It must've been the prune juice I had last night. I must have poured it over my fried chicken. The mixture was intoxicating.

I remembered the last time I had been intoxicated by prune juice. It had been in the Winter of 2004, in Kansas. A blizzard shut the interstate down. I only had sardines and prune j

juice to keep me going for a period of 2 weeks. It's quite amazing the creations you can conjure from merely prune juice, sardines and pantry essentials. I say intoxicated, but

did I mention waking up in the ER with my stomach contents lying neatly next to me in a see-thru bag? Wait, is that a sardine swimming around inside? What WAS in that blamed juice?