Splupharbulousness.

Splupharbulousness.

That was the best way to begin this wonderful folding story. It is so much fun making up words, like the Dadaists did, at the Cabaret Voltaire. Tristan Tzara and his famous monocle

, the girl with the violin tattoo and Trumpy the tap-dancing fart-emu. Not to mention Albert Scroggins and his witch's nipple and scrofula-survivor Daniella Du Plonka, all shouting

"Arooga Arooga!" It was the best Halloween Costume Contest they'd ever been to. Flat Stanley was dressed as Detective Jason Manatee and even Madame Wong was there dressed as

Charlie Chan. It must have dawned on someone that the only thing lacking was a juicy murder, because suddenly one of the revellers, dressed as Trump, screamed and clutched his/her

Heart, as if he were a character in a melodramatic soap opera, and started spluttering in outrage, eyes bulging out, face turning redder by the second. "SOMEONE MUST DIE NOW-"

It is not wise to kiss a chainsaw buy that is exactly what he did and I have a roomful of very frightened people who I know where they live that can vouch for my telling the truth.

Often, times I didn't need verification. As of late, I did, need someone else to verify, that what I was saying is truthful knowledge, about getting rid of stuff.

And once you verified that I was right to get rid of stuff I promptly got rid of you. What was I thinking? Now I am alone and have no worldly belongings I roam the Earth like a

cat in the night stealing people's chicken nuggets and woolly long underwear. I loved it and never went back to the rat race. Cockroaches are so much more fun to watch!