I poured my heart into that letter. Didn't

I poured my heart into that letter. Didn't hold back a thing and it scared me to death. I folded it up into a paper airplane and sent it across the pond. It arrived

, apparently, in the wrong hands, though. My doorbell rang one day, you see, & when I answered it, Bruno was standing there with my letter, a bouquet of roses & a sheepish grin.

"Hey Bruno. What's up, dude?" I asked before I noticed anything. He stepped inside, handed me the roses & breathily replied, "You know." & showed me the letter that wasn't for him.

the story it told of how his old lady was doing the plumber left me speechless. I could only console him with my world famous potato pickle pie. Between bites he

proposed to me, but I wouldn't say yes until he had divorced his cheating wife and fired their plumber. He finished the pie, but refused to promise me anything. So I punched him in

effectively.He thought it was an 'aw shucks' punch, but when he punched me back it was a sucker punch.I landed in their whirlpool and got sucked under. Damn plumber.I resurfaced in

A sewer hole where Mr. Smith had an electric rodder. I was saved! Mr. Smith got a reward from me and I was given a permenent home in his flat. This was no ordinary plumber.

I would have to plumb his soul. He ran afoul of my first ploy by swerving left when the situation clearly demanded he swerve to the right. He emerged unscathed and with a fresh pie

. But this was not just any pie, it wass cherry pie! Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. And what's this? Freshly-brewed coffee? Maybe his eternal soul could wait.

He was dragged before the heavenly tribunal with pie slice in 1 hand & slopping cup of joe in the other.The celestial magistrate intoned:I'M STARVED! We're hitting that diner. NOW.