The waiter was talking to me very fast in

The waiter was talking to me very fast in Catalan. I said something to him in what could have been Italian which is how I ended up with a bottle of alcohol free lager. The vagaries

of being uneducated and ironic always sent on the strangest trips. But it's also how I ended being the guy who stacked nets on this salmon boat. My only friend was this corncob pip

of a manly queen who claimed to receive transmissions from the last men on Neptune. We were hauling up a catch one November day and among the salmon found a talking carp, who

spent the whole car ride home gabbing about his life and told us a long drawn out tale. We later realized that the carp's stories were fishy. At first it made me feel crappie, but

"Carpe diem!" Trout reassured me during lunch later that week. "Don't let that blubber-mouth get you d--" suddenly he clammed up -- Carp dove in front of us, fins crossed, glaring

And laughing at Trout. The alewives were gathering in the distance. Someone in China was going to eat them. A chap named Wu Shi showed up and said, "Thank you!" as he ate them.

Actually he said 谢谢 & he didn't eat them so much as swallow them whole.He was a bit wushy washi about the whole chew-before-you-swallow thing.The Alewives met Oldwives in his belly

and they had a nice conversation. Of course, the Alewives were a bit pissed at getting swallowed while the Oldwives were more accepting, but it was a nice conversation nonetheless.

But when the Midwives came down the ol' esophagus, things became less pleasant. Not only was it more crowded, but the Alewives and Oldwives had to hear pregnancy stories and they

Looked down upon by the Firstwives; inspite of their already being in the lower intestines. They found a brief respite by the spleen but were back in the hot seat at the liver