And so it came to pass that the three cats

And so it came to pass that the three cats came upon an active lava flow, cascading into the ocean, forming new land. The first cat was the bravest and she

singed her little paws loping onto the smoldering new island chain. The second cat built a small straw boat which ignited on the lava. Fat old Nawiliwili coughed up a hairball and

boom! The movie critic Gene Shalit was born. The Titan Cats finished creating the world and they blew tandem pan pipes and road rainbow turtles back to the heavens. The world

just kind of sat there for 14 billion years as Gene Shalit's mustache grew. Finally it was done and suddenly everything was hustling and bustling. Movies were made. Gene Shalit

stars in the newest movie, Bob Sintaz's Mustache. And the Mustache Man, and Muno Macho Mustache Man...

Mister Moustache. Fill me in on your new vision, wake me up with indecision, help me trust your mighty wisdom. Yes, I eat cow, I am not proud, and neither was she, looking up at me

with such contempt. I had let them push me around - the white-trash rednecks who hung around the fences and storefronts like vultures. I had let them scare me off and I now I knew

They were just fronts for illegal smuggling operations. Thor was watching them and staged a coup on Thursday ... his special day. His troops had axes to smash the windows and doors

but he waved them back. His troops withdrew in abeyance. Thor approached the counter. "I would like 43 grams of your best French fries," he thundered. "No more, no less."

"Fries come in large, super large or super super large," the attendant said laconically. "Oh alright, super large then," rumbled Thor, "but make it snappy, by Odin!"