July 15th, 1478: I decided to write down everything if anything happens to me, so one could pick up from where I finished. I think I'm on a good way to find the secret formula... to remove my older brother's pubic hair but when I tried the formula on the cat it left some hair in patches that slowly turned bright green. I will try adding some sea salt to that and cook it as a soup, for when mom gets home from work. "Mommy, I made ya sumfin t'eat!" Then I'll sit on her lap and make her swallow every last hairball just by being cute. Because my cuteness is a weapon that is beholden to no-one living, except to me. A slight tilt of my chinny-chin-chin, a coy glance to the side, holy mackerel, no-one can abide the death-grip of my adorableness. Even puppies and kittens faint away and are scarred for life when I put my cuteness factor in play. Don't make me pout and bat my eyes at you! "Oh no Maam. You go ahead & be cute. You've intrigued me Lady. Lets see you turn on the Cute. Because I think you're trying to blow smoke up my keister! Be cute, NOW. Pout & bat." "Awww," she answered cutely, "how can I be cute after that?" Then she laid him out with krav maga, took his vape from his hand, took a drag, blew it in his face. "How cute am I?" A great avalanche of teeth cascaded from his mouth as he lay dazed on the floor. His first thought when he came to was “I’m in love.” His second thought was “Krav maga? What a speedy way to run up a large dental bill." In love and toothless, he desperately sought a dentist whilst pondering his predicament. Indeed, love was very much a state of pure agony. If it wasn't for love, he wouldn't have felt compelled to have perfect teeth. If it wasn't for love, his dental bill wouldn't be a problem. Pah, without it he'd be happy.

 

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