Amidst the tobacco mist I could identify

Amidst the tobacco mist I could identify that unforgettable silhouette. Finding here wasn't hard. She needed no light to shine. But those black eyes...little was known about

her career in kick boxing. "Might want to put a steak on that." I said, offering her a light. She brought a Cuban and started puffing. "Only steak I need is through my Ex's heart."

At least that's what Vanessa Williams said. Sigh. Everyone of these chicks acts macho because I am Arnold Schwarzeneggar. But all I want is to cuddle, and meet a tender woman

who will massage my feet with butter and sour cream. It's not much to ask really. I'm the terminator for God's sake! So I addled down to the singles bar and sat down next to a

girl who I was pretty sure was the chick from those T Mobile ads I'd grown so fond of. She looks like the kind of chick that'd

rather be dead than be seen going out with a loser like me. So I went to the shooting of one of her ads, pretending to be an extra, and secretly dropped a few sleeping pills on her

bra stuffing. She had huge buck teeth and was selling a phallic carrot-shaped container of lip gloss or some stupid make-up. Watching the filming I found the bunny motif cute, but

disturbing. She grinned at me and stowed the carrot lip gloss in her purse, which was shaped like a head of lettuce. Then she hopped over in her bunny costume. The room shook

With each of her jumps over to me. Was this real? This person-sized lady rabbit of mine? I was starting to feel a lot like Donnie Darko, and it didn't sit with me well.

I looked at my watch. October 2nd. I could hear planes overhead. HELP ME, DR. THURMAN! HELP ME! Suddenly, everything just seemed so funny. I died laughing & the rabbit hopped away.