DarkMaster must have cast a spell on the Broncos, 'cause right now, they're suckin' pretty bad. "Ra ha ha ha ha!" The Dark Master said, rasing his hand gloved in black iron over the simmering cauldron. "Soon, the seahawks will crush the broncos, and take over the world!" And so it came to pass just as the Dark Master said. The moon turned to blood & thorns grew over the dark earth. There was great weeping & gnashing of teeth as the Seahawk Empire collapsed due to an underperforming defense and an off season for the franchise quarterback. The Dark Master ran his bony hands over the Crystal Football, chuckled, and predicted The Meat Cleavers of Texas would be world champions. Lady Gaga was a huge fan of them and vice versa. Their quarterback, a 500 lb. Black Bear named Gus, was unbeaten. That was because Gus the bear was so huge you wouldn't think of beating him, just getting out of there quick. He even gave Lady Gaga the fantods, and she's a tough cookie. Gus wept because he thought that nobody liked him because he couldn't control his hugs because he was so glad to finally hug someone that he forgets and hugs them too much and they die. Gus reinvented the German suplex, and his hugs became ever more lethal. People started calling him Lethal Hugs Man. But Gus didn't want to be a villain. He just wanted a friend. A friend who could connect 1000 German Suplexes in a row. He tried scoring some social points by helping out at the local children's hospital, but was imprisoned after suplex no.1 069, done upon a Rubenesque woman actress dressed like Frannie the fat Irish cop, turned out to be an Exploder belly-to-belly Suplex, resulting in a statutory rape/paternity suit.



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