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Five inches. That was the sad part. It

  • Five inches. That was the sad part. It was just five inches short, but it could never be fixed.

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  • So the doctor told him. Deciding Hamsters were as good as children he visited the pet shop on the way home and bought a couple. Unfortunately

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  • the couple were nolonger potty trained. Gerty complained about her corns joints & Ed her deaf husband who hardly talked or ran in his wheel. I tried returning them to the petshop

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  • but the employee said I needed to have a receipt as proof of purchase. Next, I tried abandoning them in the shopping centre, but before I escaped they put an announcement over the

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  • intercom telling people I was stealing. It would be hard to get out of this. I decided on the only logical action: I screamed. Before I could blink, eight ninjas came to my aid. I

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  • knew I could only use that power once, but this was obviously the right time. For ninjas aren't only master fighters, they're also master debaters. "Our friend wasn't shoplifting!"

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  • "Your friend wasn't shoplifting!" repeated the guard obediently. "He needs to be compensated with a 42" plasma hdtv!" I pressed my mind-ninja luck. "He needs..why you @#$%" Uh-oh.

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  • "I'm not going to give you a blow job," said the security guard grabbing the 42" plasma hdtv from my friend's hands and knocking him down in the process. Out came the baton. Cold

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  • , hard and unforgiving, but with twinkly streamers hanging from both ends, which sparkled when the security guard twirled it. Hypnotized, my friend and I lay beside the stolen TV

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  • , appreciating the profound simplicity of our experience. "I'm not sorry, are you?" I asked. "Nope. Not even a little bit." my friend replied.

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1 Comments

  1. Woab Jun 19 2019 @ 16:36

    So there ya go. When it comes to batons, size doesn't matter.

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