Five years ago, Chloe was badly hurt by her

Five years ago, Chloe was badly hurt by her almost two-year boyfriend, Dave. He broke up with her because she became so clingy, demanding and possessive. The worst part was,

that she poured gallons & gallons of chocolate pudding onto his unsuspecting head. She didn't mean to - it was an accidental comeuppance, if only partially intentional. Covered in

pudding, he waded manfully over to the custard machine. Wiping chocolate gunk out of his eyes, he yelled, "Are you ready for me to pump the custard now?" "Yes!" she shouted over th

e whirring of the wildy flailing taffy folder. "Pump my custard, Hank you manly candy man you!" Hank's biceps bulged as custard cream oozed from the hose. Vickie winked at Hank and

soon the whole barn was filled to the brim with creamy, gooey custard. I think someone was playing out a weird fantasy there. I gave up and headed to another town, where hopefully

I could avoid excessive amounts of rich, delicious custard. Unfortunately the day I arrived was annual fondue day. The streets were soon knee deep in gooey, cheesy sauce pumped

from fire hydrants. Villagers, bearing fondue forks and bottles of dry white wine, swam through the streets of Emmentaler and Gruyère. The town was a melting pot of

turnip stew. But I mean what do you expect Cleveland to be? The people of Cleveland all became depressed and started emotionally eating.

the people of Cleveland had just witnessed their football team get beat horribly and food was the only thing to drown it out until machine gun Kelly did a surprise concert

The sound of the helicopter ripped through the air. it was fallowed by AK-47 shooting at us. Many lay dead. Only Batman could save us.