I always get the best fortune cookie fortunes.

I always get the best fortune cookie fortunes. This one told me that I would

soon become the chosen one, and that I should expect to meet Eddie Murphy and he would help save me from

those bastards at McDonald's. They were running my McDowell's franchise into the ground and I needed someone who could

make a fat free big mac. It ends up that person dropped dead. The grim reapers now stands between me and my

Toyota Prius. Turns out if you want fries with that, a zipcar rental is the wrong way to go. They charged me for

he would buy a salad instead. For now, he was stranded, steam blasting from the engine. He had no idea how he'd get to

Narnia, so he decided to look for the closest lion, witch, and wardrobe. Instead, he came across a troupe of circus

peanuts.

what the heck am i going to do with peanuts?? i'm allergic to peanuts!! but i decided to eat one...