It is 1976. A young Australian hobo walks

It is 1976. A young Australian hobo walks the streets of London, England at 11:45pm. It is a clear sky, but the hobo's eyesight is so bad that he cannot even see the stars.

Years of vegemite consumption led to early onset cataracts but the hobo's plans are set; sight is no longer needed. At the stroke of midnight it will be 1977. In 15 minutes Big Ben

would stop entirely. The Hobo's acute hearing detected the scraping as the gears in the old clock tower ground down. He waited nonchalantly near the entrance & when Big Ben struck

Snookie's eye. The Hobo looked up. The clocktower's pointed hand held the writhing Jersey Shore star by the eyelid. The Eyelash glue had reinforced her lid and made it stretchy.

BOINGGG...BOINGGG...BOINGGG...Snookie banged up against the clocktower as it struck, her eyelid firmly impaled. Hobo pointed & laughed until he couldn't see straight. The Situation

had spent most of his life working out his abs to impress women only to end up alone. The Situation didn't understand what really mattered to women

. You see, what really matters to women isn't a set of abs on a man, it's what's going on opposite that matters. Women like men with really strong backs. Backs of steel! This is be

cause when a couple move into their first home, they often lack money to buy a kitchen set. But if the man has a strong back, he can get on all fours and have the table set on him!

It was a difficult task but it seemed to be very common for people to do such a task. although his back was sore his spouse was eating and if he got up it would have been a mess.

She was on her final course. "Are you done?" "Almost finished with the creme brûlée." She daintily wiped her mouth and cleared the dishes. He was so tired of being the table.