When Death comes a-knocking, greet him with a glass of sherry and a fist full of prawns. Then dance, dance, dance on the way up that long, long hill to eternity. I'm just sayin' there ain't much you can do but embrace Death in your arms and follow along. He'll lead you here and he'll lead you there, but it's all the same when it's eternity. So smile, and walk in place. You may run or dash, but going somewhere, that's where you'll appreciate this, is no distinction from going nowhere. Wisdom is standing still somewhere and nowhere. & always before the dragon strikes! Unless you are the dragon, then look ahead two more moves and get your fires lit because we's about to be the IT of the IT while IT's Happening! " When my brother finished explaining the game, I looked at my card. I was the dragon. So, I rolled the die and powered up my fire ability. But before I could move my game piece, black smoke issued from the kitchen. My bro rushed to put out the stovetop fire. Wait...could I've caused that? I focused hard on my hateful math teacher & thought: Burn! Next morn -ing I found out that she had married a man named Clarence Burn over the weekend, and was now Edwina Burn. The good news was that she was pregnant and would no longer be teaching naked sky diving, what with the baby on the way. Edwina and Clarence Burn were both excited about the new arrival despite hardly knowing each other, until one day Edwina discovered hair where there was no hair before. It was the dreaded hair golem! With a CR of 6, Edwina and Clarence knew this would be no easy fight. Clarence swigged Edwina's enchanted milk and his codpiece grew a gun turret with a gremlin gun crew. Edwina indicated Clarence was free to roll the dice. Rolled 1 D20 (advantage) +4 +dex(0) +spell atk(0): 23 | Rolls: 19

 

Comments

1 Col.Lingus's photo

A lady or the tiger ending for you to chew on while you munch on your hard to find anywhere Grape Nuts. You hoarder of Grape Nuts and Grape Nut Flakes.

2 Zetawilk's photo

This gives me an idea for another story.

3 Woab's photo

I miss my Grape Nuts! Are you saying that finding them is a roll of the dice?

4 Col.Lingus's photo

I’m not say any such thing, but yeah, that is what I am saying. i guess. idk. Who is this again? How did you get my number? Oh, Revelations is it? You got the wrong guy. The number is right but I’m not the guy you’re looking for. Maybe try in Deuteronomy next time.

I’m just saying.

5 Col.Lingus's photo

Or try Butterfield2000

6 Woab's photo

I actually found Grape Nuts in the store, yesterday. My heart is full.

7 Col.Lingus's photo

Most likely so is your appendix.

8 Col.Lingus's photo

I think I might have mentioned before that when I was a kid we had a train derailment (tan tan TAN) behind our neighborhood. Several of the rail cards that had opened up in the derailment were full of cereal. Everybody in the neighborhood was grabbing boxes of cereal. I heard about it later than most. When I got there everything was gone except the Grape Nuts and the Grape Nut Flakes. I learned to love them eventually. I had two cases of them to get through.

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