i have no idea what this is about, therefore

i have no idea what this is about, therefore ill just

go to sleep... and

thud! Ow! hit my head on the keyboard. What time is it? 4am? That gives me only a half-hour of quality REM sleep. Sad that REM broke up. Orange crush...kenneth...zzz Thud! Ow!

"What did you do that for?" I yelled at my wife. "I was going to get up after the next snooze alarm, you didn't have to throw your shoe at my head." I rubbed my temple and got

a genie. A genie popped out of my temple. It sais, "I am the genie of your temple." He had big blue arms and a gold turban. Now my wife was in real trouble because

I had been waiting for this moment for years. I said "Wish #1: I am always right." I called my wife at home. "Hi Honey, remember how you said it'd be fun to see your mom for Xmas?"

"Yes Dear?". "Well", I replied, savoring the moment, "The old harpie will just have to eat her own foul vegan Dinner alone. We're going whole hog in Vegas this Xmas." "Yes Dear."

Quickly, Velma and I veered our queer zamboni towards Vegas, just barely eluding the self-important Vegan queen and their Quixotic mandates. We hid among a herd of xeroxed zebra,

pretending to be ice gnomes in search of a lifemate for the queer zamboni; perhaps an effeminate toaster. But the xeroxed zebra saw through our ruse and they were hungry for toner

The xeroxed zerba then fell into a blender.