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In the mood for a delicious snack? Me too!

  • In the mood for a delicious snack? Me too! First let's slaughter a healthy animal. Then we'll butcher us up a coupla choice cuts of carcass. Let's rub a nice savory blend of herbs

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  • & insecticides and wash it down with a plastic bottle of purified water.The message design scientists were testing the efficacy of this new PSA to promote veganism. They aired it

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  • during an episode of X-Factor and no one saw it. The PSA failed. The message design scientists were called into the CEO's office. The CEO stared at them for a very hard minute.

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  • Four years later, the company was out of business. The Chinese factory outlet store moved in to take their place, just in time for the sacrificial lambs to parade down the street.

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  • Four years is the usual time for something to occur in these parts.There was no trace of the store previously occupying the space.The Chinese factory made plastic chickens

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  • that looked like Trump in all sizes and sold them on eBay for incredibly low prices. Buyers left feedback like, "Took 30 days to get it. Cheap plastic crap." But the Trump chickens

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  • weren't just strutting around the yard and striking outside the pecking order because they wanted to. It was because you wanted them to. You were so ignorant, pretending to look at

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  • -tractive as you scratched the dust for yummy ticks to eat. You had no idea that I had my sharpened axe behind my back. Your next crow would be your last. You lifted your tiny head

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  • up my-" What are you doing now? Oh, you're grabbing a hammer, what are you gonna do with it, hit me or- Oh, what.... What are you- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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  • Shhh.... quiet.... it's my first day and if my boss ever hears... tell you what... if YOU don't tell I'll throw in a BOGO coupon for your next acupuncture visit. What'd ya say?

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5 Comments

  1. Woab May 17 2018 @ 15:01

    One of our more twisty plots.

  2. ACN May 17 2018 @ 15:19

    This turned from Third to first person. Whoops.

  3. Gibber May 17 2018 @ 16:36

    2nd person too.

  4. LordVacuity May 17 2018 @ 16:49

    No you weren’t. PurpleProf was second person.

  5. SlimWhitman May 18 2018 @ 03:10

    I was the narrator once.

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