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"No no I don't think YOU understand" the

  • "No no I don't think YOU understand" the ad guy said. "I don't want juicy" (he made air quotes). "I want a frikkin flash flood in my mouth! I don't want flavorful. I want a grenade

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  • of flavors exploding in my face, making me feel like I'm floating on a cloud. I want the same feeling like when I'm really drunk and happy, yet sober enough to stand straight with

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  • out weaving, or bumping into things, or slurred speech, or embarrassing slips, or beer googles, or laughing at my stupid jokes, or acting boorishly. Just a brief window of carefree

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  • inebriation is all I ask. Why worry how many times I will text my ex, or get pulled over, or study a flood drain as I'm ralphing into it? So just let me buy you a drink miss, I'm

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  • sure you'll find me an adequate sexual partner if you'll have me." "You do realize I'm your cousin, don't you? What you are proposing is a no starter. It will never happen, again."

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  • "Don't you know that second cousins can legally marry? Not that I'm asking you to propose to me or anything but I'm the best option you've got when you think about it" "I don't

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  • think our family could bear another second-cousin wedding," he said to her, "We're too inbred as it is." "Fine, I didn't want to marry you anyway!" she said with tears in her three

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  • Eyes and a curling of her 14 fingers. "I always preferred Billy Joe Jr anyway!" "Me too." He mused, furrowing his second brow. "There's always Clancy?" The PIG??" they heard a exci

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  • ted--party me, AN excited--squeal from the direction of the pigsty. "Great, Cuz, you've got him all riled up. You know what you gotta do." She fluttered 8 pairs of lashes

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  • , one of which fell into the tea she was trying to serve me. Let it be known that I left a very disapproving YELP score on the Muffet Cafeteria when I got back home later that day.

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1 Comments

  1. Woab Jun 23 2020 @ 15:32

    I cackled aloud at this one, especially Zeta's ending.

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