it was time for some affirmative action to

it was time for some affirmative action to reninstate gender balance on the whole sacrifice-the-virigin-to-the-gorilla social more. The social justice warriors tied the groom to a

a stake and put him into the gorilla's cage. The skulls of dead virgins surrounded them. The young man stared into the gorilla's eyes with fear. "Stupid justice warriors!" he said.

Then something unexpected happened! Nothing could have been more amazing than this one single moment..

.than what we will reveal to you--RIGHT AFTER THESE MESSAGES.

Janet Horseradish is a spaz. One time I was talking to her and she had spinach in her teeth. Don't get me started on her shoes. Do you want this person to be your next Senator?

Yes, surprisingly because, Billybob Magee is the other candidate and he is proud of how fast he can shart in public. What horrible choices. I wrote in my vote, boring Bob.

The whole thing was rigged, so my mum wrote in our two cats. Cats won 1% of the vote, so that speaks volumes. Without a tellie, life was good. The Sheep Channel, as we dubbed it,

refused to stay dubbed. They demanded that they be accorded subtitles as befit their station. The elected cats found themselves in hot water over a lack of semantic satiation & mum

was the word. At least, that's what they agreed to when the Exec Producers had their heads turned. But at night, the claws came out, the whiskers simulcast in unison and it was tim

-e to hunt! Night time was their time and nothing and no one could take that away from them! The fat cat Executive Producers were going to have an interesting night being hunted.