"I'm a feather duster and I'm okay." "That's

"I'm a feather duster and I'm okay." "That's fantastic. Could you dust my house for me?" "NOT TODAY." The PETA activists had arrived, plucking the feathers and returning them to

Liza Maneli's feather boa. Liza was in a foul mood this year. She'd been tranquilized after a real debauch on a boat that belonged to a tire salesman. So when a man came and announ

ced that he was her husband, how was she supposed to know what was going on? Liza Minnelli and her new husband couldn't have been happier. Every morning she sang him a medley of he

adbanger songs, Broadway-style. Every night he'd massage her feet with mustard. Why, Liza did not know, but whatever made him happy made her happy. It was a blissful marriage until

he started singing too.His voice was better than hers to tell the truth.Liza got jealous & that was the beginning of the end. The last straw was when Mike Nichols hired him to star

In his production of New Year's Eve skits, mimicking Modern Rubbish. The production was presented over three nights and was the most famous production ever for them.

The fourth nite was a travesty. During the preshow rehersal, the front step stage collapsed beneath the dancers and 7 of the chorus girls were out with injuries, including our Desd

-emona, who had not only twisted her ankle, she had lost the jewel from her navel, which was given to her by Lord Frothingham, who had stolen it from the queen. Desdemona became

concerned when Duke Foamingshire wore bespoke jewel as a nose piercing to the Ball. The Lord was sure his mistress Desdemona betrayed him & Lady Frothingham thought the Lord & Duke

deserved each other more than any proper lady. That afternoon, among the rose bushes, she softly sighed to herself. Homosexuality won't have been invented for another 83 years.