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I felt my knees go weak. Mother... Mother

  • I felt my knees go weak. Mother... Mother was trying to kill his friend. He didn't want to choose between his family or friends.

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  • I jumped between my friend and the knife wielded by my homicidal mother. She stopped herself from burying the knife in my heart but it was too late. I recognized the blade. Poison

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  • lined the tip of the knife and dripped almost beautifully down the sharp curved blade, like a teardrop down a cheek. It dropped onto my skin. My eyes flicked to my mother, who

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  • was shivering in fear. I smirked. "This is for Dad." I said, suddenly sharpening the blade for one last kill. I raised the blade, but just then, I felt a cold plastic hand on me.

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  • "Hey kiddo, you really don't want to do this," Barbie told me, in a surprisingly deep voice. "You KNOW Joe had nothing to do with your dad's death. You know it was

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  • me who offed your dad. Also, Lassie dies at the end of the movie we were watching. AND I'm really a dude." I saw red: "A SPOILER, Barbie?! Are you even human?!" I chased her (him?)

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  • Through the fields of wheat, all the while the he/she shouting: "A UK PRIME MINISTER WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR THESE ONE DAY!!" I nicknamed them Spoilerella in a strop.

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  • Now, Spoilerella the happy hermaphrodite became known far and wide as a sooth sayer. S/he took up residence in a church ruin and gave visitations to tourists. One fateful day, a

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  • freak accident involving a crystal ball & some tea leaves unexpectedly took hermaphrodite Spoilerella’s life. Everyone was shocked as s/he didn't see it coming, hence the proverb:

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  • "Don't mess with the dark arts if you've got boy and girl parts."

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