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Lady Midday visited me today. I was walking

  • Lady Midday visited me today. I was walking along the lane in the hot sun when she joined me. She's young & pretty and I laughed in spite of my headache. I can't stop thinking abo

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  • ut the ax imbedded in the back of my head. It distracted me from focusing on the lovely Lady Midday. Her pink rosebud lips were moving, but in my impaired state, I could not form

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  • coherent words or thoughts.Green-tinged foam dripped from my mouth. Ugh. I trembled as I caught a whiff of Lady Midday's perfume. "What's the matter?" tinkled Lady Midday. The ax

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  • body spray was the matter. "Nothing I replied" and then I stuffed Lady Midday into a tea cozy.

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  • of a sauna. Relentlessly positive, I praised it as snug, but was initially confused by nozzles and the techniques of the spray tanning booth. It was largely ignored by the body

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  • cleaners and I was unsure how sanitary this spray tanning booth would actually be. Knowing almost nothing about it myself I figured I would have to take my chances in its snug conf

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  • ines, just like anything else. The confines turned out much snugger than I expected. I was being literally crushed by the spray tan booth. I didn't want to be gravy infused anymore

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  • and quite frankly I was beginning to doubt that the strange-looking people at the Tropic Tan counter were really all that concerned with my bikini lines. Their faces had started to

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  • melt when, as if they had read my mind, they claimed they were very concerned with my bikini lines & insisted on examining them. The Tropic Tan counter people's dripping faces

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  • Undid my jeans and the first tarantula-like leg shoots out, knocking one staff member out. Another pops out and chokes the staff to death. I remove my jeans and scuttle away.

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2 Comments

  1. Woab Jul 26 2019 @ 15:47

    If I had known that I was going to turn into a tarantula, I never would have agreed to the ax in the head! My date was ruined!

  2. StigMartyr Jul 26 2019 @ 19:00

    *cough* yep, they were definitely legs and not something else... Overgrown. Yes. That thing. Moving swiftly on.*cough*

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