"OK, Day Campers!" Ms. Twombly clapped her hands. "I want you all to make him feel welcome!" This was the day the Littlest Pet Shop's special visitor was a dead sturgeon. Tommy Timble the Timid got up and screamed. "What's that thing, Ms. Twombly!" "It's a fish, Tommy Timble! And it's going to EAT YOUR SOUL." Tommy Timble pulled out the Device and s et the TiVo to record Glee. Tommy Timble was a simpleton, but he was also extremely rich. You could totally insanely ghastly things to him and he didn't care. That's why Ms. Twomby Sang "Anastasia" with a spirit not seen in decades. Judge Simon declared her a real talent. Ms. Two by got a record deal and toured until December 2017. Her career was booming. Until she lost the American Idol market to upsizing her meals the bigger & bigger she got in the minds of her public. She was bigger than Buddha, Jesus, & the flying spaghetti mons ter both literally and popularity-wise. She was so big she eventually collapsed in on herself and formed a black hole. But before that, she was everywhere, on the bible, memes, cof fee mugs, billboards. "I am nothing now!!" she screamed into the black hole that was her Self. Eons passed & she, unable to reflect on her circumstances, remained stoic. Suddenly one morning when she was staring blankly into space, she had a vision of herself as a little girl. She was wearing a tiger skin and leaping though the woods. "I am queen of the skins of others! Wearing them proudly, I galavant about pretending that I am they!” She proclaimed, paying no heed to the fact that Tony the Tiger didn’t find any of this great or worth going through the indignity of having her pull him about by the toe. The tiger wondered if she would let him go if he hollered. He hollered. She let the tiger go into dreams.

 

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