Another day of luckless job-hunting left

Another day of luckless job-hunting left Morraine depressed and frustrated. She had the education and the experience, and her asking salary was very reasonable, she thought.

The most likely reason for Morraine's unsuccessful job hunt was the accumulation of unconsolidated glacial debris that formed at the corners of her mouth when she spoke. Every time

she interviewed for a job, her mouth would become as dry as cardboard, and equally as appetizing. Who would hire a chef like her, especially with her

reputation for throwing knives when the kitchen got in the weeds. It's good TV when Ramsay does it, but she wanted to work in a real kitchen and she needed confidence. She popped

into the TV studio. "I'm your next food host. Give me the job, dammit!" The xanax was kicking in. The head of the board smiled. "You must first make a dessert with these,

you have 5 minutes". They lifted a cheese bell to reveal a vanilla pod, two mangosteen, and an active termite mound. He adjusted his chefs hat and grasped his handheld blender

and said, "Who's ready for Margarita Madness?!?!" His hand held blender shot out cold buckets of Margarita's on the kindergarteners. The Jimmy Buffet burst through the wall

, but the Kool-Aid Man had beat him to it. Jimmy Buffet shattered him with a ukulele, sending a deliciously lethal combo of kool-aid and broken glass at the margarita-soaked kids.

The result was devastating and after that combination no one was left standing. Until this day, tales are told of the legendary Kool-Glass mixture. The question is

what had happened to the watch I'd had crammed up my ass? It just disappeared! That watch was for my son, what would take it from me now? I curse the day I found that mixture.