This year its been snowing, snowing, and

This year its been snowing, snowing, and more snow. Everyone is so surprised by all of this weather we're having in North Carolina this winter season.

Its crazy! I feel like I'm back in Pennsylvania.

I never thought I would.

But, alcohol does crazy things to a person. So I stood there, hat in my hand, facing my nemisis, ready to pounce. The fear was shameful, but I gathered my thoughts and I

ignored them in favor of fear. I said, "You're not worth it." The only way a man could be a coward. Then he bitch-slapped me. My face reddened. "I will not fight." Then he slugged

me right between the eyes, crushing the cartilage beneath. I winced, blood dripping from what used to be my nose. "You can't make me hit you." I said. He grabbed my wife, "Please

swap her for a younger model - Ooops, did I say that out loud? Leave her be! I tried to pick myself from the floor but was hit again by a sudden

realization that I was better off staying on the floor. That way if she wanted to give me the stink eye, she'd have to bend over. I sure showed her

my "rub my belly" puppy impression. Instead she kicked me in the ribs. I pressed the button on my Life Alert and the animal cops arrived instantly, and handcuffed the smelly bitch.

Pamela Anderson was taken to animal control and put down... not actually euthanized, just told that she was smelly and that she had plastic appendages.