Taking off his thick librarian glasses, loosening

Taking off his thick librarian glasses, loosening the top few buttons of his shirt, and spinning in a circle a la Lynda Carter, John was amazed to find that he was indeed able to

reshelve books without lifting a finger. All these years he spent trudging up and down through the stacks! John's life as a librarian had taken on new meaning since he discovered

slave labor! John the librarian recruited desperate people from poor countries to do his work for him. He dressed them up like patrons so none would be the wiser. He could finally

Drink coffee undisturbed.

He continued ordering coffee until he ran out of Starbucks rewards. Then finally she appeared at the door horrified by what she saw inside

The coffee had run out in a Stabucks joint! They would need to grow it afresh. She bolted out back to the Columbian Environment Simulation Lab, and planted instant coffee beans

she timed how instant it was by using her self watching watch. She received the results via her AOL email service. The Juan Valdez Virtual Presence looked down his nose at Starbuck

and waited for him to understand the concepts of AOL & how it was that a mermaid logo was capable of undermining a man with a donkey and unlimited coffee earning potential.

Juan Valdez led his donkey sadly down the mountain past the old cafe where he used to stop for a shot of tequila before heading home. The place was a Starbucks, now, no tequila and

no Rosita to flirt with at the bar, but his donkey stopped & wouldn't budge. So Juan went in & there was Rosita! He ordered a Latte mas Grande. She winked & added an "extra shot".