There once was a man named Fred. Fred was very tall and had long blue hair, he had to shop at a special store because he was so tall! Fred really liked to wear blue jeans. Fred's Big & Tall jeans matched his blue hair and navy bandana. He ate blue tortilla chips. His brother Ned was just as tall with blue striped skin. Some people called him Ned'vi. Blue seemed to be all around Fred. But most of all, he loved the dark, blue color that was generally connected to his favorite baseball team - the New York Yankees. One day Fred Flintstone decided he was going to tryout for the Yankees. He ped-o-drove over to the stadium. Barney called on his shalephone but he ignored it. Fred wanted to play short stop but was too tall. Barney was perfect though so, they picked him. Fred lost it. The Yabba Dabba Do gave way to your Butts Dabbing Doo! He pushed his friend into a fresh pile. Eons later, Barney Rubble's petrified body emerged in the LabBrea Tar Pits, startling a nice lady in Capri pants. Careful digging revealed Wilma and Betty, but Fred was never found This spawned many Paleocartoonoligist theories on why Wilma & Betty's bones were found together with Barney's. Was this the earliest example of both cuckoldry and just deserts? Betty, Wilma, & Barney may have been the earliest example of cartoon cuckoldry, but they pale in comparison to the Rugrats. Stu and Drew Pickles shared Stu's wife Didi regularly. I paused, reviewing my college essay. Would my professor understand any of this? I took a chance and handed it in anyway. What a stupid move...how could I have possibly expected the professor to understand Swahili? He gave me an A anyway...he was REALLY tired.

 

Comments

1 PurpleProf's photo

HAHAHAHAHA! Good ending, 42twentyfour!

2 PurpleProf's photo

This is actually better written than some essays I grade at the end of the semester. You think I’m joking?

3 SlimWhitman's photo

I guess you can’t share -
wasn’t there a LOL funny book of the best of the worst of the easy quotes from an English teacher?

4 SlimWhitman's photo

Let me try again to write in English…

Wasn’t there a LOL funny book featuring unintentionally funny excerpts from essays an English teacher received from his pupils during his career?

5 Rebbie's photo

That’s how you feel after grading for days during finals week. He said duck was why the water was foul…fine C?

6 SlimWhitman's photo

I couldn’t find it. Below are some other collections
Warning: may be too close to reality for those in the teaching profession - respect , btw.
https://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~norman/Jokes-file/StudentBloopers.htm
http://www.dailycognition.com/index.php/2009/06/17/yet-more-funny-exam-test-answers-by-students.html

7 Rebbie's photo

Fabulous, SlimWhitman. I am particularly fond of the abstinence cartoon.

8 PurpleProf's photo

HAHA! Great! Probably the most common error I see every semester (as a communication professor) is carelessness in spelling the simple word “public” (as in “public speaking”). Every single semester, without fail, at least one student will write me, thanking me for helping him improve his PUBIC speaking skills.

9 SlimWhitman's photo

I briefly entertained the idea of starting a story about that,
fortunately this time my internal censor interjected.

10 Rebbie's photo

I write so stream of conscious when I am at rough draft that it does not matter how good I am once I get to final draft. Here on FS, as I am writing in the in between moments, it’s always stream of conscious. So ThePurpleProf, my most profound apologies for having to read my writing. Lol.

11 lucielucie's photo

I used to teach English as a foreign language abroad and it was surprising how many people switch on their computer by pissing on the button.

12 SlimWhitman's photo

Do they keep their presentations for pubic speaking on the pissed upon computer?

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