Kurt Russet was wrapping up Big Tuber in Little China. The movie was half-baked and he wondered if the critics would roast it. He chuckled. He kinda hoped they would. Nothin' finer than big tubers roasted over an open fire. Kurt basted his big tubers with a nice garlic peanut sauce and passed 'em around. Kurt's big tubers were popular with the exception of Courtney who had a peanut allergy. A sinister seagull watched over the meal. Kurt turned away to find the sinister seagull in his document cabinet, trying to locate the contract. He rose from his seat and imagined yelling "Goddamit!" in indignation, but all he could muster was pointing towards the drumset Where his son practised to relieve stress. The spirits of summer rose and sang in a chorus about a beachball and its aura. They were near no lake, but in 2016, bought one and that was the summer of 2016.They owned a lake the size of an ocean flanked by continental shelf.The beachball spirit inflated to a great yellow ball in the sky filled with hydrogen peroxide. It burst on impact with a small bird, raining acid on the various lake-goers. They screamed; I laughed maniacally. My plan to have the lake to myself was going swimmingly to its glorious conclusion. The lake bed turned out to be quite fertile and had only been lacking that peroxide component to reach full fecundity. The millions of space eggs began to hatch and from them sprung millions of peroxide blondes. The blondes trudged toward Hollywood, leaving a wake of press-on nails behind them. Hollywood was overcome by the giant masses of blondes, their disorganized bulk flooding the economy and the housing market. It wasn't long before nobody could live there at all anymore.



1 Woab's photo

How interesting that this started with Kurt Russel making a movie and ended with blondes running everyone out of Hollywood. Hmmm.

2 LordVacuity's photo

Kurt Russet is Married to Golden Hawn.

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