Ordinarily, I would eat my meat before eating my pudding, but on this one particular day, when Vanilla Crème was the pudding flavor, I acted extraordinarily and ate my pudding 1st. The taste was amazing, my body shivered and my brain exploded with every taste. The sensation was somewhat horrifying. This.. this isn't how pudding should taste! "What is this!?" I looked down at the tasty pudding. Did I just see eyes looking at me? I tried to call the waiter but my tongue froze. A voice in my head said, "Eat some more. Delicious aren't I?" "Yes indeed, my dear pudding, you are quite scrumptious in fact! However, my doctor insists I stop eating sentient desserts." I called to the waiter and asked if they had any more napkins. "My sentient chair doesn't like it when I wipe my hands on it," I explained. The waiter looked at me strangely and then darted back to the kitchen. The sweet smell of a sudden bonfire hit my nostrils. The source of the flames coming from a screaming chair. I stared in confusion. "Oh my God! Pee-Wee's Playhouse is on fire!" I yell. As I run for help I see Randy the bratty marionette disappearing into the jungle. He hasn't noticed that he too, is on fire. The stench of pubic ball hair reminds him of why he is who he is a hypochondriac always puting input where it is irrelevant the jungle braced and invited randy with all of its dark coffee. Coffee! Randy woke with a start, feeling crotchety, as those behind him honked impatiently to move ahead. He lurched forward & slurred his order: "Grande, black, 2 stevia." But he got a shot of corn mash like all the other geese. As he waddled back into the pasture he wondered if the bizarre day dream he'd just had wouldn't have offered a better fate.

 

Comments

1 SlimWhitman's photo

How can ye have yer puddin’ when ya dint eat cher meat?

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