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The movie was rated PG-45. He was refused

  • The movie was rated PG-45. He was refused entry. Why would adults need parental guidance? Was there a secret kept from adults like sex is from kids? His mom agreed to go with him.

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  • As they neared the booth, the cashier eyed him suspiciously. "Whatd'ya take me for? A fool? You ain't 45. This is PG-45." His mom waved, "He's with me. It's ok." I had no idea what

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  • she wanted. Why was she helping me? I watched as the testy cashier waved me on. I followed the older woman (his mom) into the dimly lit movie theater. The PG-45 film was

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  • about a Turkish steelworker's problems with a mouse in his flat and the resulting existential angst. It'd received a PG45 rating because it had subtitles, there were no car chases

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  • , aliens, serial killers, or sex scenes with older women. We weren't quite sure how the movie would go over in Nebraska. We did a Bechdel-Wallace test in Omaha one Tuesday night.

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  • "Let's just go with the alternate ending of Russel crow staring into the camera masturbating furiously for 45 minutes." the producer said. The movie made so much money that they

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  • retired early. Unfortunately when someone sued claiming that the movie was a rip off of "Crows and Sausages" written by some high-school junkie, there was no money left to spend.

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  • He ended up on the streets, the scripts of coffee shop auteurs running through his mind. He badly needed a fix of beta-dammitol. One day, a stranger said, "I wrote that, you know."

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  • He looked at the napkin the stranger handed to him. "At the same moment, a sperm with one X chromosome..." "Yes said the sad eyed stranger, I am Guillaume Laurant. Spare a centime

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  • ter of dna strand, and I will build you a brain! " All at once they gathered around him, recognizing he might be the only hope they had of becoming human again.

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