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He was a fledgling namedropper looking to

  • He was a fledgling namedropper looking to score. And so, when his sister's husband's grandfather, a minor civic leader, suddenly passed away, he knew this was his chance at fame.

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  • He immediately volunteered to do the eulogy, but only between the governor and the police chief. He dropped a few names & flashed a picture of himself with Dr. Phil. The body rose

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  • six feet out of the casket and floated across the hushed mourners. His glass eye fell out and landed in a woman's hat. No one noticed. Then Copperfield's body rotated and fire ball

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  • s erupted out of every visible orifice, and some invisible ones. Everybody shielded themselves from Copperfield's undead onslaught, but none were able to stop what was to come--

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  • except for Cowboy TV of course! He saved us from the undead onslaught and we thanked him by

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  • kicking him in the dick. We were TRYING to become zombies, and you had to go ruin it for no reason at all. Thanks a lot, asshole.

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  • Oh man! Zombies would have been AWESOME! I'd have to settle for asshole, though. I wonder if he knew what kind of powers i'd have as an asshole. I also wonder

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  • if anyone knew, that almost everyone ruling anything on this planet was an asshole, so you pretty are out of competition, if you lack a spark of assholery. He checked, if

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  • his asshole was perhaps sparky enough to be a true leader, alas, all he found was some corn, a doll, and a marmaduke comic he was saving for later. He knew now what he must do:

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  • to live his life happily to the end of his life, giving the doll and the comic for the villagers that obeyed him and worshipped him as a god ever after.

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