I put on my robe and wizard hat. The garish

I put on my robe and wizard hat. The garish costume did nothing to improve my spirits, however, and the sleeves were now far too short. I sighed in disgust. I needed a tailor.

Luckily, the crazy cat lady down the street specialised in wizard outfits. Now that I think about it, it was oddly convenient... Still, with the annual wizard olympics so close,

he realised he had to make sure he was up to scratch in every aspect, so, to start his training, he

bought a pet wolfhound called Graham, 12 pounds of Ukrainian steel and a large zucchini. His mystic knowledge of the Dark Arts assisting his bargaining. Taking a deep breath he

loaded his 9mm Beretta, knowing the large-bearded bastard of a mail clerk wouldn't go down without a fight. With trepidation, he

firmly stated, "Look we both know this ends in only one of two ways. Either you give me the damn package, or I take it. Unless you don't have it... in that case

you still have to steal it from other people and give it to me, or this crowbar will stuck inside your body." the guy was afraid and cry for help like a little girl which

caused an army of crabs to rear up from the ocean and take arms against the crowbarrer. After the crabs had maimed and killed him, they set off for lunch which consisted of

microwave burritos. However, once lunch was done it was time for the crabs to hit the campaign trail. The crabs traveled from town to town delivering rousing speeches and inciting

young sea snakes to join the ranks of the Eel brigade. After a handful of new recruits left for training the crabs decided a new vocation might be easier on the