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"Dave whats the secret to your steak man!"

  • "Dave whats the secret to your steak man!" Mike exclaimed. "You really wanna know?" Dave asked. Mike nodded enthusiastically. "Well the two main ingredients are napalm and bleach."

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  • Mike sighed his relief: "Mystery solved! These symptoms had me worried." He used some chewed-out corn cobs to plug up the holes his intestines were oozing out of. "Great BBQ, Dave!

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  • Dave dropped a brat in horror. "Maybe you should see a doctor." "Nah, I got this," said Mike wrapping the holes in his abdomen with duct tape. "Not like this hasn't happened before

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  • . I've been in worse situations." he smoothed down the duct tape over his wound. Mike waited a few seconds, then ripped the tape off. Dave gasped; there was no hole anymore! "What

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  • in the world! How did you do that?" Dave was soon to discover that his father had taught Mike to heal himself by sheer willpower alone. Chuck Norris would've been proud.

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  • Dave's father looked at him, "Dave, I would have taught you the same as Mike eventually. You didn't have to shoot me!" "Why don't you just heal yourself through willpower like you

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  • told my mother when she died of being smashed by the elephant that she had been teasing. You said the elephant had more wilpower. I say this bullet has more willpower. Goodbye Dad.

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  • I am going to put this bullet between my teeth and chomp down on it as hard as I can. Then you'll be sorry, and so will your murderous elephant friend. You'll have to clean up

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  • this mess, wearing nothing but bamboo leaves. You will laugh. You will cry. And you will die. I will follow you to heaven and beyond. Now, take this bullet, and pray for you soul.

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  • And, well, you can guess what then happened. No need to go into the messy details. There's a moral to this story & it's this: Don't play with Ouiji boards.

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