The machine falls on them, because they aggressively shake it to get their snack to fall. Tragically, they became part of the 37 people who were killed from vending machines between 1978 to 1995, which is more likely than being eaten by a shark. You are more likely to get struck by lightning than you are to get eaten by a shark however when you step in the ocean your chances of both increase drastically to such a degree that beaches in lightning prone areas and shark infested waters are closed to recreational swimmers. Olympic swimmers such as Ryan Lochte are employed to patrol and to report anything resembling blue sausages floating in formation over the bounding waves. Ryan had spent his life perfecting his butterfly stroke, and hadn't thought this odd. After all butter on flies is disgusting as is blue sausages. But Ryan persevered crossing the English channel three times in just one year. He was hailed as the worlds foremost culinary expert on all things meaty by one newspaper, only for another to ruin his career in an expose in which he was seen in a seedy diner chomping on a greasy-looking hamburger. Still, the damage was done. He found no forgiveness in their hearts or their stomachs. He stooped to offering cooking demonstrations in grocery stores on Saturday mornings. Free Kn ockwurst samples were being offered just a couple aisles over, so his demonstration of how to make pate de fois gras using just canned ingredients was not well attended. Disgusted, he dropped the half-full cans to the ground. Thick, oozing liquid spattered across the tiles and spread the reek of liver throughout the store. His new shoes were covered in liver!



You must be logged in to comment

You can Log in now or Sign up for a new account