My weapon of choice: the blunderbuss. Just

My weapon of choice: the blunderbuss. Just a fool careening blindly through the pitch, blasting and bussing any damn thing in my way. That's the way to do it. I remember

Looper because I was in it. That's right, I am Bruce Willis, except, now I've committed myself to carrying around a blunderbuss. I want to kill my past heroic incarnations.

Beginning with my role on Moonlighting.

Ending with my role on Moonlighting 2: The Re-Lightening. It was meant to be a film series on overnight key grips before it became the disaster that it was. Critics attributed it

to poor acting, lousy direction and virtually zero special effects, and panned it. But the weirdo artistic types found Moonlighting 2: The Relightening to be a fascinating, quirky

research which made the world peaceful and vegan under Lords Kalki and Padma

. Padma preferred tofu, while Kalki was all for bean sprouts. Peace had given rise to much leisure time, and Kalki learned to weave and knit the bean sprouts into great

big aprons. Padma and Kaliki realised that these all organic 100% bean fibre aprons would sell like hotcakes. They went to the big city to find a marketing agency

; regrettably, Padma was run down by a rickshaw and fell into a coma. Kaliki traded the bean fiber aprons for a Jeep and an I-Phone and got a strip-teasing job at the Mens Club.

At that club Kaliki met an edgy boy named Anakin Skywalker. He talked about hating sand, getting everywhere and about an Emperor involving Some Sith group because of Padma's death.