It's time for visions of sugar plums to be

It's time for visions of sugar plums to be dancing in my head. Although, I'm not sure I like

the notion of Christmas confections having their way with me - not this year! Last year Santa left me some peppermint bark that actually... barked, and since then

the war I'd waged with the jolly old elf had covered four continents and ended the lives of thousands of humans and nearly a million of his north elven brethren. Each death cloying

like a white woman from Connecticut. But some did not consider Ross Perot a jolly old elf. But he was, so long as he had eggnog and a case of Whippits. Then he was laughing

and talking about the time that he ran for President as a 3rd party candidate. It was almost sweet when Perot did it. Not so much when Ralph Nader screwed over the country.

No, the "Bull Moose" of Dawn's life was Dan. Dan had proven himself to Dawn as a

damnable dandy, capable nonetheless of tossing Dawn 80 feet into the air & catching her, quite delicately, with his antlers. Dan's furry antlers were the result of Zuni experiments

. It was supposed to increase the thickness of his eye-lashes but furry antlers were a side effect. Dan could deal with that. Dawn appreciated them, that was for damn sure.

Besides, prancing around in velvet gave Dan a certain "laissez-moi tranquille" quality, as if he were star-walking in solitary confinement and Dawn had a thing for feeling alone.

Especially when cross dressing in formal wear. He chose more understated togs for his weekly trips to the Piggly Wiggly. Jorts and a Patriotic tube top when he was feeling flirty.