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You are a D.A.P., a Depressed Anxiety Person.

  • You are a D.A.P., a Depressed Anxiety Person.

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  • No I'm not. YOU are a Depressed Anxiety Person. I just have a lot of idiots to deal with in my life which take their toll on my naturally sunny disposition.

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  • I ended the 'conversation' there & booked a cruise with Bozo Boat Tours "Guaranteed to immunize against idiots for an entire year & buoy you with buffoonery". Capt.

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  • Flappinpants was at the helm of Bozo Boat Tours, welcoming us aboard, pantomiming how to put on our life jackets in the unlikely case that we'd capsize & handing us each a red nose

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  • That would make Rudolph jealous. Rudolph had died decades ago but his son replaced him. His son, Ludwig, had a blue nose. His mum asked where that came from and no one knew.

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  • "Ludwig the Blue-Nosed Reindeer" never caught on like his dad's song had, but Ludwig still got to lead Santa's sleigh. What people don't know about Santa and the whole sleigh thing

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  • is they they are actually sponsored completely by Bill Gates. Santa's elves have a pension and a 401k that kicks in at retirement. But since elves live forever that wasn't going h

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  • orse riding through the shop with a posse behind them and the sparks of the chase. We never promised Open Windows. We gave you the first fruits; the wet nurse and her issue. Fllood

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  • pants and a dorky haircut were then issued to you for your first day of fifth grade, along with the notice of termination to the wet nurse, who had dried up by then. When you punch

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  • someone in the testicles--suffice it to say--you damage them for life, but I was back to my old self in the Spring. My virginity was lost: it never returned, but the wet nurse did.

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2 Comments

  1. Woab Aug 23 2017 @ 14:04

    Who isn't a clown, really, on their first day of fifth grade?

  2. LordVacuity Aug 23 2017 @ 16:00

    Wet nurses act as wet blankets for your clowning around on the 1st day of 5th grade and the teasing afterwards is relentless. Here you are, 23 years later, the CEO of a multinational conglomerate and your friends still call you Nursey McWetty Wetty. Why are they still your friends?

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