Oscar got me a frosty brew and Felix slipped a coaster under it. My cards were middling. I considered Cthulhu in that long moment. Were his/its tells contrived or revelatory? I played a pair of low pairs, a royal flush and a perpendicular to test my theory. Cthulhu's tentacles didn't quiver. He'd earned the title 'Stone-faced Squid'. A mysterious cuttle f ish called the bet adding 50 sand dollars and a pearl to the pot. The Kraken swore a blue streak and folded. All eyes except Cthulhu's were on Capt. Muddymuddskipper. I flashed some bear skin at him. "Hey Wookie, no flashing allowed during poker games!" yelled Cthulhu. At least I think that's what he said. Nobody ever really knows for sure. Capt. Muddymud Skipper clammed up right there & then. He'd seen Wookie's wookys before,only then he knew Wookie as a fish named Wanda. Cthulhu poked Capt. Muddy Mudskipper out of his dazed memori al day hang over. Capt. Muddy Mudskipper was in no mood. His head throbbed, he needed something salty and greasy. Chili cheese omelets or something. Cthulhu poked him again Some 2-1/2 years later, Purple Prof's prophecy came true. The chilI recipe he used became the favourite of vegans worldwide, including Sir Paul McCartney himself. it went viral. Everybody that ate from that chili recipe caught it and didn't quite die but close enough to be ruled legally dead. They soon started to gather at major crossroads around the city. They were completely brain dead, but somehow they were able to gather at the crossroads and form a giant circle, in which they would summon the Chili God from the depths of my bowels, where It laid dormant for centuries. It arose from Its Great Slumber and devoured Its brain dead followers before drowning our world in delicious beans and meat. Amen.

 

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