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The crowd fell silent as a dour-looking nun

  • The crowd fell silent as a dour-looking nun took the stage with a microphone. "Hello all, and welcome to St. Michael and St. John's Elementary 3rd grade production of 'Equus'.

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  • "Eat shit!" The crowd froze. The dour-looking nun shouted, "Who said that?" She skewered the audience with her evil eyes. No one fessed up. The Nun continued, "This 3rd grade

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  • lobotomy project will proceed without another hitch, capish?" "Consume feces!" said a less bold crowd member with his herd mentality. The nun decided that eating just one turd

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  • wouldn't be all that bad. But she had to say Grace first. The nun bowed her head and prayed, "Bless us & this turd which mine enemies are forcing me to eat. Amen." The lobotomy pro

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  • tected her from further mind manipulation by the alien overlords, but she still liked to wear her tinfoil hat rather than her wimple. She was a fashion-forward nun, and not ashamed

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  • to épater les bourgeois. But her overdeveloped fashion sense led her to wear her tinfoil hat in the midday sun and she died from brain explosion. The pope made her a saint

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  • And eulogised her. Tinfoil hats became all the rage. The pope wore one as well, in Agnes's memory. The pope bought a Harley Davidson and realised he needed a helmet. He bought one.

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  • The Pope wore his tinfoil hat to honor Agnes atop the Parthenon in Athens when a lightning bolt thrown by Zeus found his tinfoil hat and rendered him fallible.

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  • Zeus called down to the Pope. "How dare you spread lies that we don't exist. The Pope barely able to speak peeped out, "We never said you weren't real, just not God." That is when

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  • Jesus came to the Earth and looked at the two figures. He brought out his holy sunglasees and smiled. "You two need to chill and forgive each other." Then they had tea with Jesus.

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