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So then I said, "What? No mayonnaise? How

  • So then I said, "What? No mayonnaise? How do you expect me to eat this pizza with no mayo?." Luigi looked ready to kill.

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  • Mario pushed his chair back from the table with his small, stubby legs. "Whatchu mean, you don't a like my pizza pie?!"

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  • And he picked up the pizza and flung it at Luigi's face. The Princess was aghast and couldn't believe her beloved Mario

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  • had battled his way through 8 castles to find her before giving in to a petty sibling rivalry. Bowser looked pretty cute

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  • , her tousled hair erupting from her stainless steel armor, but he had little time to contemplate that since his brother

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  • infiltrated the nunnery and posed as the Mother Superior. She wasn't the most important thing to him, but she did offer

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  • a great back massage. Who cares if she has cross eyes, club feet and 6 inch hair under her arms? She was my protege and I would find her

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  • attractive if it killed me. I didn't realize at the time that my feigned affection for this woman would actually bring me to death's door. After ingesting a near-fatal mix of

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  • ricin-laced edible panties, I learned my lesson. No more horticulture crazies! So I headed down to the public

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  • restrooms to sit on the pot and think about all of this. Even though some lessons have been learned, it was totally worth it, especially when it involved edible lingerie.

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