I’m not a big fan of Orson Scott Card’s writing as I found Ender’s Game to be more Heinlein wannabe than a solid read. But I wear snoods and do awesome tricks with crystal balls that makes them look almost like they're floating but they never actually leave my hand so the trick is kind of lame unless you know the magic. Crystal balls flaming with fake heat bears no resemblence to the dissappearing trick that my snoods help me accomplish. Fat, quick hands are essential to hide the lumps in the batter. Yes, magic is most certainly like pancakes. So are most things. Eagles fly. Fish blub. The smoke gets in your eyes. In my diary I scribbled a metaphor for life using a pancake: “ingredients thrown together in a small space, beaten violently, flattened over fire.” Why did I associate such negativ e thoughts with food? Every time I get depressed and moody I feel poetic and then for some reason my poetry always involves some type of food. Like the time I got suicidal and wrote that tome called Ode to the Mysterious Waffle, a collection of poetry, stories and recipes for the most beautiful waffles ever made by mankind. Another food related book I wr etched upon after sampling it's offerings was "Sprouts! Brussel, Mung Bean, and 99 other delicious varieties!" I had turned to page 94, where much to my bewilderment, was a recipe for bacon-rapped squirrel-on-a-stick. The next recipe was a marmot gumbo. This must have been the point when Harley got dumped by Trixie & became a Carnan survivalist for Carnan O'Brighton. And just like a similarly-named individual, this was predictable, formulaic, and pandered to self-assured college kiddies across white America.

 

Comments

1 49erFaithful's photo

Ah the ole squirrel on a stick! Had one just the other day at weinershnitzels.

2 SlimWhitman's photo

Carnans eat only products from the meat food group, as opposed to Vegans: Its kind of a karmic ying-yang nutrition thing…

3 Zetawilk's photo

Oh, I thought Vegans just hated animals so much they denounced any product which was animal-related.  “We hate cows, damn yogurt to hell!” and that sort of thing.  Then they go around eating up all the trees.  Personally my only experiences with any cliche demographic were with militants begging the “we’re not mutually responsible despite identifying ourselves with the same group” defense.  Yes, this was back in the soviet educational system, classrooms wired in with camera-televisions, watching us while instructing us with the same repeated monochromatic footage.  There was no recess due to the genetic experiments crossbreeding velociraptors with orangutans, and we were fed consistent subliminal messages to “fear Project Star Wars”.  The injections continued nigh on as we slept, waking us with pinpricks that demeaned strange, exotic dreams that seemed psychotropically hallucinogenic even in the vein of slumbering audiovisuals our minds ordinarily construct.  And they were all the same.

4 SlimWhitman's photo

Well, it’s very nice to be selected for Fold of the Month, but I must credit 49er for the Recipe of “Squirrel on a Stick”: http://foldingstory.com/hj2ty/

I wonder how Harley’s Appalachian adventure went?
http://foldingstory.com/hw08p/

5 49erFaithful's photo

I prefer my squirrel traditional, with a spicy dijonaise, but the bacon-wrapped variety is quite popular among Carnans.

Congrizzle Slizzle!

6 Zetawilk's photo

Squirrels wouldn’t get eaten, they’re the ninjas of the animal kingdom.

You must be logged in to comment

You can Log in now or Sign up for a new account